Maternity Photographer - Lakewood, CO
When my first born was nine months old, I was surprised by the news that we would be welcoming another baby in just 8 months. The news was bittersweet. I was, of course, excited because we had troubles getting pregnant with my first and were told we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant on our own. But knowing that my little baby boy was going to be thrust out of his baby position early and lose his place as the center of our world so soon, I was worried and sad.
After a long, hard second pregnancy, I was definitely ready to have that second baby in my arms, but I was still anxious about how it was going to affect my first born. I was sad about not having those quiet mornings cuddling him with no interruptions. There is a pause at the end of a pregnancy, especially when you have other children, where you are excited about the new arrival, but also want to savor those last moments before the new baby comes.
I drank in my oldest and our time together. Early mornings were spent snuggling in my bed. I watched anxiously waiting for him to start walking since I didn’t know what I would do if I had two babies and nobody was walking. Then as his little hand took mine and we would walk to the car together, I felt the energy of having my little buddy holding my hand and knowing someday he would be way too cool for that (we are there now at 13). I was excited to see him become a big brother and to have a little brother so close in age. I anticipated their close relationship as they grew up together and what a gift it would be. Despite that, I was still mourning that quiet time of just him and me was soon going to be gone.
That time is a pause. I don’t know how else to describe it. A pause. You are hanging in limbo between two realities. The excitement of getting ready for the new birth. Putting the new nursery together. Cleaning the clothes and the smell of Dreft in the house (is that still a thing?) and filling up the bookshelf with board books. Then there is the quiet one on one relationship with your oldest that you are reluctant to give up.
I’m happy to report that 11 ½ years later, the boys are very good friends and I think most of the time are happy to have each other. It wasn’t always easy, but it has been fun watching them develop their relationship and grow together. I’m still sad I didn’t get to spend more time alone with my oldest, but the outcome was definitely worth the sacrifice.
I think that pause...the time in between...is important to document. That time when you are anticipating the new arrival, but still have that special time with your oldest and are doing everything to breathe it in.